Golf is a beautiful game. Golf is such an easy game to love but such a hard game to play because well let’s face it, it’s a difficult game. Whether you’re a first time golfer, been golfing your entire life or just golf a few times a year, it’s important to know the way golf works. We took the time to gather what we think, are the golden rules of golf.
Drinking helps. Golf is about having fun and to us, drinking just enough to keep a slight buzz helps us stay loose. We’re not saying go get plastered, but a nice buzz keeps the nerves calm. A study found that golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. A minimum of three beers or cocktails is required to “get loose” and into a rhythm. If you hit a really bad shot, a quick remedy is a good shot of whiskey. Mandatory shots of Fireball are required by everyone for each birdie made. Marking your ball on the green with a beer can is very practical and keeps you hydrated.
Be honest, no one likes a cheater. In golf, you keep your own score and for the most part, you are your own rules official. Every time you swing at the ball with the intention of hitting it, that is a stroke! There isn’t someone watching your every shot. Even in a golf tournament, unless you’re a pro playing on TV, the only people watching you are your playing partners. It’s an honor system and there have been times when we’ve each had to call a penalty on ourselves. Why? Because those are the rules, and in order to be the best, you can’t cheat your way there, you’re only cheating yourself. Hitting balls into the water and out of bounds are considered penalties and sometimes break times(the out of bounds hits provide a much needed bathroom break). You also draw a penalty if you lose your ball. If the ball is hit into the water, it is a 1-stroke penalty that is added into the total number of strokes for that hole. Lost balls and balls that go out of bounds are 2-stroke penalties. Once you’re finished with the golf course (or it’s finished with you!), add all of your individual hole scores together.
We must learn to accept the uncontrollable. We can’t even begin to count how many times situations occurred in golf that made our playing extremely difficult. There are times when you end up with a bad kick in the fairway that puts you in the water or your approach shot hits a sprinkler head and puts you 30 yards over the green. It happens unfortunately, but one of the things you learn quickly is that you must start to accept the things that are out of your control. Golf is a cruel, cruel game, with the difference between winning and losing being literally mere inches. What starts out looking like a perfect approach shot, can hit the flag and bounce into the water. We suggest counting to 10, taking a shot of whiskey and trying to put it out of your mind.
Learn to focus. You must learn to be focused to improve in the game of golf. Golf takes an extreme amount of mental and emotional concentration but the most important shot is always the next one. Focus on the next shot.
Learn to problem solve. Whether you have to club up around the course on a windy day or putt firmer because of dew on the greens, you need to learn to plot out your strategy and implement it. Sometimes while drinking heavily, it helps to move the ball further back in your stance.
Be quiet. Starting as a kid playing golf you learn that there is a respectful volume you can have on the golf course. This projects a certain amount of respect for the people playing with or around you and allows you to concentrate on what it requires to play golf. Nobody likes a loud drunk, whispering or muttering your slurred profanities softly is highly recommended!
Learn patience. Golf is an extremely hard sport and will humble you in a hurry! Patience is truly a virtue and golf teaches you to take one shot at a time and not try to get too far ahead of yourself.
Be respectful. Golf teaches you how to not only respect yourself, but others and the golf course, sportsmanship if you will. Small respectful gestures like not stepping in someone’s line, being quiet while someone else is hitting, waiting your turn, fixing your ball marks, not driving the golf cart on or too close to the tee boxes and greens. If you’ve hit 8 times on a par 4 and are holding up the group behind you, pick your ball up, slam your beer and move on. Oh and beer cans go in the trash can, not the cart basket.
Communication. Golf has taught us how to interact with others and to communicate with whomever our playing partners may be. At times, you don’t always have a foursome and you are thrown in a group with random people. It’s a great tool to have in life being able to interact with others and communicate accordingly.
Never stop learning or get complacent. There is always room for improvement and no matter what you are doing in life, you can always be better, you can always continue to work and grow to become the best drunken-golfing version of yourself possible.
Quality over quantity. Tackle your golf practice with quality over quantity. When it comes to golf, practice is extremely important, but the quality of your focus is most important. For example, if you hit 40 balls with 100% focus and you are 100% committed to every shot you hit, that is more beneficial for you than hitting 100 balls with 40-65% focus. We recommend limiting range drinking to a six pack or two.
Golf is truly a “gentleman’s sport” and relies on the individual to uphold the etiquette of the game. Golf etiquette refers to a set of rules and practices designed to make the game of golf safer and more enjoyable for golfers and to minimize possible damage to golf equipment and courses. Although many of these practices are not part of the formal rules of golf, golfers are customarily expected to observe them. Tee it up and drink it down, but be respectful and knowledgeable of the game and please make an effort to uphold golf’s golden standards, even buzzed!